Cost-Cutting Deadline
Today is the deadline President Obama gave each of his Cabinet officials to come up with $100 million worth of cost cuts... or actually just pay their income taxes, whichever's easier.



Selling his Toys
An 11-year-old Ohio boy is selling his toys to help his financially-strapped family. Local politicians say this is a terrible story.. mostly because the kid did not collect the proper sales taxes.



Comic Con 2009
A sell-out crowd of 120,000 people is expected to show up at Comic Con in San Diego today... more proof that America is seeing a huge boom in the number unemployed losers.



State Dinner Invite
President Obama has just invited Prime Minister Singh of India for a state dinner at the White House. Even though Singh is not that kind of Indian, Mr. Obama still plans to apologize for the Redskins.



SF Train Accident
Police are still investigating after a commute train rammed into another train in San Francisco this weekend. It's an strange story, because usually no one complains when someone gets rear-ended in San Francisco.






July 20th

1738: French explorer Pierre Gaultier de Varennes et de la Vérendrye reaches the western shore of Lake Michigan, but has to return when he can't find a parking space near Wrigley Field.

1881: Sioux Chief Sitting Bull leads the last of his fugitive people in surrender to United States troops. The captives immediately start selling the soldiers tax-free cigarettes.

1940: U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Hatch Act, limiting political activity by Federal government employees. A bill limiting all actually productive activity of any kind by federal employees was signed 5 years earlier.


1944: Adolf Hitler survives an assassination attempt led by German Army Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg... people seeing Tom Cruise's movie about the incident 65 years later are not as lucky.


1969: Apollo 11 successfully lands the first man on the Moon... but NASA accidentally sends the crew's baggage to Saturn.