Mexican Drug Strategy
In hopes of quieting the nation's drug wars, Mexico has hired more police. The government hopes that the drug lords will be so busy bribing all the new officers, that they'll forget to keep shooting each other.



McCartney Surprise
Paul McCartney thrilled New Yorkers with a surprise rooftop concert atop the Ed Sullivan theater Wednesday. McCartney says it was planned, but it really was because the 67-year-old former Beatler accidentally went up to the roof after getting lost looking for the bathroom.


MRI Cuts
A provision in the House health care reform bill would virtually eliminate most MRI tests for Medicare recipients... not because the tests are costly, but because too many technicians like to put old people in those machines and just leave them there over the weekend.



Starbucks Booze
Starbucks is about to test the addition of wine and beer to the menu at its Seattle stores. It's all part of the company's continuing devotion to the production of more urine.



Free Abortions!!!
If the House health care bill becomes law, taxpayers would end up paying for abortions... proving that health care reform is really about bailing out all the Congressmen who get their mistresses pregnant.




This Day in History: July 17th

1821: Spain ceded Florida to the United States, leaving millions of elderly Spanish Jews nowhere to go for the winter.


1938: "Wrong Way Corrigan" took off from New York, aiming for California but landing in Ireland. It was a journey that served as the inspiration for United Airlines.


1941: The longest hitting streak in baseball history ended at 56 when the Cleveland Indians pitchers held New York Yankee Joe DiMaggio hitless at Municipal Stadium. The streak remains DiMaggio's greatest lifetime achievement... next to repeatedly banging Marilyn Monroe.