Jacko Service
Tens of thousands of people are lining up already at L.A.'s Staples Center in hopes of attending the memorial service for Michael Jackson. But just as they did when Michael Jackson was alive, all boys under 14 get in free.



Palin Effect
Sarah Palin's decision to step down as Governor of Alaska has Republican's looking for a new leader... luckily, they should be able to find some at the hooker and mistress convention in Kansas City next weekend.



Iran vs. Satellite
Opposition newspapers in Iran say the ruling government in Tehran is cracking down on satellite TV broadcasters. Cablevision is responding by broadcasting a 2-hour tribute to Ayatollah Khomeini.


Iran vs. Satellite II
Opposition newspapers in Iran say the ruling government in Tehran is cracking down on satellite TV broadcasters. They're angry about spreading anti-government messages, and the extra charges for NFL Sunday Ticket.



Obama in Russia
President Obama is in Moscow this week to ask the Russians to reduce their nuclear weapons. In return, he's offering them 5 tickets to the Michael Jackson memorial service.



Chrysler Board
The new Chrysler has named nine people to its board of directors... the nine people in America who still drive a Chrysler.