Supreme Leader Speaks
Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is rejecting claims that last week's presidential elections were rigged. He's also asking millions of Western journalists to stop trying to "friend" him on Facebook.


Supreme Leader Speaks II
Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is rejecting claims that last week's presidential elections were rigged. He is, however, admitting that he is indeed Santa Claus.



iPhone Weekend
Apple expects to sell 500,000 of its new 3G S iPhone this weekend... mostly to people who say they can't afford to buy their own health insurance.



Continental Passengers
The passengers on the Continental Airlines flight where the pilot died mid-flight were never notified of his death during the trip. And most of the passengers have still not been notified where the Hell their luggage is either.



Healthcare Costs
The high cost of securing health insurance for all Americans has Democrats in Congress scrambling to scale back their proposals. For example, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is only going to charge the taxpayers for half of her next facelift.



NYC Heat Murder Index
A new study shows that the number of murders spikes in New York when it gets hotter. In other words, no one wants to see your damned tattoos and back fat.