Warning from Ayman
In a new message, al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri says the people of Pakistan must back Islamic militants or face punsihment from Allah... which would most likely come in the form of health care reform and bank bailouts.



Episcopal Outreach
The Episcopal Church is moving to accept more gays and lesbians... shocking most religion experts who didn't know there were actually any straight Episcopalians left.




Health Reform Cost
The Congressional Budget Office says millions could lose their jobs if the government forces all employers to provide health insurance. That actually might work out, since we'll be waiting so long to see a doctor, no one will have time to go to work anyway.



Wagoner's Deal
Former GM CEO Rick Wagoner is getting a retirement and pension deal worth more than $10 million. But with all the government bailouts helping to destroy the dollar, $10 million will soon be just about enough to buy a used Chevy.



Mass Cut Offs
Massachusetts is cutting off legal immigrants from its state-sponsored health care plan. But if the state REALLY wants to save money, it could just cut off all of Ted Kennedy's illegitimate children.