Banks Need Money
The 10 banks that failed the government's "stress test" will have to raise billions of dollars in new capital. If successful, the government will allow those banks to stay open and give them a free toaster.



Swine Flu Stigma
Mexicans in the U.S. say they have been cast as disease carriers and subjected to humiliating treatment because of the swine flu. They just want to go back to being considered illegal immigrants and drug mules.



No Movie Protest
The Vatican is issuing no ban on the upcoming release of "Da Vinci Code" sequeal "Angels and Demons." The Church believes people going to see the movie will be punished enough.



New Tax Policies
President Obama wants to crack down on corporations and individuals who use foreign tax havens to hide their profits... wait, there are corporations and individuals who are still making profits?



High School Concussions
A new study shows that when high school athletes suffer concussions, as many as 40% return to action prematurely. The other 60% just continue to sleep through chemistry class.