Ford's Good Numbers
Bucking a trend, Ford Motor Co. posted higher than expected revenues in the first quarter of this year. Ford is doing better by cutting prices, improving quality, and systematically killing UAW retirees.



Job Fair
About 400 laid off finance professionals are expected to attend a government job fair in Manhattan today. But experts believe the former Wall Street traders are still too inexperienced at failure to work in the government.



5th Grade Dealers
Two Indianapolis fifth graders face charges for selling drugs inside their elementary school. The teacher's union turned them in when they didn't give them 70% of their profits for retirement pensions and health benefits.



Credit Card Plan
President Obama is promising to get tough on abuses by credit card industry. He's going to turn all the credit card CEO's over to the Guantanamo Bay torturers he's not going to prosecute.



Chrysler Deal
Even if Chrysler goes bankrupt, the federal government will guarantee its union workers and retiree benefits. The only other organization that pays its failed employees for life is the federal government.