Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Bank of America Capital
The government says Bank of America needs to raise another $35 billion. The bank plans to get the cash by holding some Somali pirates hostage.

Chrysler Expectations
Chrysler has announced that it lost $16 billion last year, and expects to lose $4 billion this year. Meanwhile, people who buy Chryslers this year are only expected to lose 20 to 30 grand.

Lincoln DNA Test
A DNA test may soon be run on the famous pillow stained with the blood of a dying Abraham Lincoln. doctors and historians hope the test will show whether Lincoln had cancer, Hollywood hopes the test will show whether Lincoln was gay.

Ginsburg's Plea
Ruth Bader Ginsburg says the Supreme Court needs another woman justice. Mostly because ever since Sandra Day O'Connor left, Clarence Thomas hasn't had anyone else to harass.

Globe Union Deals
The New York Times has reached a deal with the unions that will keep the Boston Globe alive. The unions have agreed to take pay cuts, and the Times has agreed to continue not publishing the truth about unions.


Post a Comment

<< Home