UN for Gaza
The United Nations has started an emergency appeal to help Palestinians in Gaza. Everyone who donates $100 or more gets a exploding tote bag.



Parsons on the Train
New Citigroup Chairman Richard Parsons is winning praise for taking Amtrak instead of using a private jet to get to meeting in Washington, D.C. yesterday. Of course being Parsons, he accidentally boarded the train to Chicago.



Economic Impact
Supervisors at suicide call-in centers across the country say many of the calls they're fielding now are about layoffs, lapsed medical insurance, and foreclosure... but most of the calls are still from people depressed about Oprah's weight gain.



Partisan Vote
The House passed the $819 billion Obama stimulus plan, but not one Republican voted for it. Meanwhile, the 11 Democrats who voted against it were just angry that the bill included no grants for extra interns.



Digital Delay Nixed
The House of Representatives has defeated a measure to delay the national switchover to digital television. It's comforting to know that with our banks collapsing and layoffs surging, our government still has time to protect the jobs of all the Chinese workers who make our cable boxes.



America Moves
A new poll shows that 50% of Americans want to move elsewhere... and the other 50% will also want to move to get away from the other half once they get there.


NATO and Ice Caps
NATO's commander says he's worried about the security threats posed by the melting Artic ice caps... mostly because NATO just doesn't have enough troops to fight off the inevitable rise in crazed European environmental demonstrators.



Starbucks Layoffs
Starbucks is cutting 6,700 jobs... something that promises to be awkward when all those laid off workers inevitably end up spending all day hanging out at Starbucks.