Stocks Wilt
Stocks in Asia and Europe are crashing today on fears of a global recession. U.S. stocks may buck that trend since nobody here can find Europe or Asia on the globe.



Oil Crash
Oil prices are plummeting again today even though OPEC is trying to cut supply. If this keeps up, Arab countries will no longer be able to sponsor honor killings and they will all be "bring your own stone."


OPEC Cut
OPEC has decided to cut daily oil production by 1.5 million barrels. But the empty barrels will be used to hide terrorists sneaking into America.