Final Debate
Tonight is the final debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. This is both candidates last chance to make their best case for getting hired to work for Hank Paulson.




Jesse Slams the Jews
During a speech in France, Jesse Jackson said that an Obama administration would not allow its foreign policy to be influenced by "Zionists"... making this the toughest election choice ever for members of the KKK.


During a speech in France, Jesse Jackson said that an Obama administration would not allow its foreign policy to be influenced by "Zionists." It's a statement that was really a waste of time, since Obama already had the self-hating Jewish vote all locked up.





Madonna-Guy Splitsville
Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce, proving that Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez breaks up marriages a lot better than double plays.



Al Qaeda Moves
A new report in the New York Times says that al Qaeda rebels being beaten in Iraq are now moving to Afghanistan. Actually, most beaten al Qaeda rebels move to the New York Times.



Oil Crash
Oil prices have crashed to about half of where they were this summer. Luckily, suddenly cash-strapped Arab terrorists can still rely on a bailout from Hank Paulson.