Bailout Question
Now that the government is buying up all these mortgages, does this mean we all live in the projects?



Buffett Buys
Warren Buffett is buying up $5 billion worth of Goldman Sachs and is already integrating it with the rest of his businesses. That's why you can now get shredded subprime mortgages sprinkled on your cone at Dairy Queen.



Pilots Fired
Two pilots at Go Airlines have been fired for sleeping during a flight... not because of safety concerns, but because the airline can't afford the pillows anymore.



Carter Critique
Jimmy Carter is calling the mortgage bailout plan "extremely faulty"... mostly because it doesn't say anything about blaming Israel.



Doggie Dorms
More colleges are allowing students to keep dogs in their dorm rooms... mostly because dogs tend to be more housebroken than the average college freshman on a Friday night.