Obama Denial
Barack Obama strongly denies he was talking about Sarah Palin when he said, "a pig with lipstick is still a pig." But he'll be in even more trouble if anyone finds out he was talking about Oprah.

Barack Obama is visiting with Bill Clinton today in New York... mostly so Obama can tell funny stories about him when he's a guest on Dave Letterman's show later tonight.


Lehman Angry
Lehman Brothers is complaining that the news media is publishing false rumors about the brokerage firm and driving its stock price down. In response, several Lehman executives are driving around the Wall Street Journal offices in a strecth limo with "No Justice, No Peace!" printed on the hood.


Lehman Brothers is assuring investors it is finding new investments to replace its mortgage-based businesses. Most of those investments are in anti-depressants for its executives.

Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld was conducting a conference call about company earnings this morning... but it was interrupted when his phone was repossessed.



Biden's Attack
Joe Biden is criticizing Republicans for not supporting vital medical studies like stem cell research. He later retracted those comments when he learned that the GOP does not oppose hair plug research.