Troop Withdrawal
George Bush is announcing the withdrawal of 8000 combat troops from Iraq. Washington needs more troops to protect the mortgage market.



Rice Complains
U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is complaining that she doesn't see enough blacks at her job. Actually, she should be proud that more blacks are smart enough not to work at the State Department.


Calls to Quit
The prime minister of Thailand was forced to resign after appearing as a guest on a TV cooking show. Legal experts say the constitution clearly bans prime ministers from being employed by a private entity and overcooking Pad Thai.



Simpson Jury Selection
500 prospective jurors were questioned yesterday as the latest O.J. Simpson trial began in Las Vegas. But 457 of those jurors had to be excused after it was determined they had previously been assaulted by O.J. Simpson.



China Damage Bill
China says it needs $244 billion to fix the damages after the huge earthquake that hit the country in May. Most of the money is needed to rebuild prisons and firing squad ammunition factories.