NOLA Cops
Tropical Storm Gustav is headed straight for New Orleans and the city police department is reportedly not prepared. Of course, the New Orleans cops are usually not even ready for partly cloudly.


Another Katrina?
Tropical Storm Gustav is headed straight for New Orleans, prompting Kanye West to say that God doesn't care about black people.



Barackopolis
The Democrats have erected a structure resembling the Parthenon for Barack Obama's acceptance speech tonight. The Greek temple theme is appropriate as the Democrats also plan to sacrifice America.



Biden's Touching Moment
During his acceptance speech last night, Joe Biden told the delegates that a tragic event almost ended his career in politics. It was a solemn lesson in choosing the wrong doctor to get your hair plugs.



Ledger's Apartment
The Manhattan apartment where Heath Ledger died is renting for $26,000 per month... of course it comes with $35,000 worth of prescription drugs.



New Rules
The SEC has approved a plan that will allow U.S. companies to use international accoutning rules... which means every accountant in America will start taking six weeks off every summer.



Penis Enlargement Fraud
The founder of the Enzyte male enhancement pill company has been convicted and sentenced for fraud... an amazing accomplishment for prosecutors since no one was willing to complain about the products publicly.