NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com! Here's the link: Newsday




White House Summit
President Bush, Barack Obama and John McCain are having an emergency meeting at the White House today to discuss the financial crisis. Together, the three men hope to find a way to blame this all on Ralph Nader.


President Bush says there is an agreement to put an executive pay limit into the bailout plan. That means the only failed executive who will continue to be paid with taxpayer dollars is President Bush.



Debate Disagreement
Barack Obama is rejecting John McCain's call to cancel Friday night's debate because of the financial crisis. Of course if Obama wants to face someone who continues to disagree with him on most issues he can always debate Joe Biden.


Barack Obama is scoffing at John McCain's decision to cancel the debate, saying he should be able to do two things at once. McCain responded by saying that it would be nice if Obama could do one thing at once.



Bailout Reprecussions
Now that the federal government is about to own your mortgage, things are going to change. For example, when your toilet clogs, you can call your Congressman.