Obama Time Out
Barack Obama is taking time out from the campaign trail to visit his sick grandmother... or accuse her of being a racist again, whichever helps his image the most.

Barack Obama is taking time out from the campaign trail to visit his sick grandmother. Obama is expected to completely restore her health as soon as he's finished healing the lepers on the way to the hospital.


Barack Obama believes his grandmother is a racist because she was afraid of an extremely aggressive black panhandler decades ago. She's actually still afraid of panhandlers, but only the ones from the IRS.



McCain Strategy
John McCain's camp insists he can overcome Barack Obama's huge lead in fundraising... mostly because the campaign is now posing as a failed investment bank in line for a multi-billion dollar government bailout.



Movie Madness
Hollywood studios are struggling to make movies based on the current economic crisis. The real challenge is creating plots where the banking problems can all be blamed on global warming and homophobia.