Obama Speech
Barack Obama will deliver his Democratic presidential acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High, home of the Denver Broncos football team. Hillary Clinton has responded by issuing a press release claiming she's always been a Broncos fan.



"No Chance" Tickets
Thousands of Americans are complaining about being sold state lottery tickets even after the top prizes had already been won. Actually, those people still have a better chance of coming out ahead in the lottery than they do when they buy airline tickets.



Emissions Agreement
The leading industrial nations have endorsed a plan to cut world emissions of greenhouse gases by 2050... a strangely long-term target considering no one in the world will be able to buy gas by this time next year.



Gonzalez a Hero
Pro Bowl tight end Tony Gonzalez of the Kansas City Chiefs saved a man from choking to death at a Huntington Beach restaurant last week. No word yet on who will attempt to save the Chiefs from inevitably choking later this season.



Car Bombings Down
Car and truck bomb attacks have fallen to their lowest level in Iraq in almost four years... well sure, who can afford the gas?!?