WVU Settlement
Ex-West Virginia football coach Rich Rodriguez will pay the school $4 million for breaking his contract. In a related story, the Mets are hoping to get Willie Randolph to pay them $40 million for screwing up the whole 2007 season.



Iranian Missile Test
Iran has test fired nine medium and short range missiles. The Iranian Mullahs hope that the missiles will soon be ready to use for a series of local honor killings.



Plastic Surgery Slump
53% of plastic surgeons in the U.S. say business has slowed because of the economy, the other 47% are working on Joan Rivers.



Medicare Scam
Investigators have uncovered a series of Medicare scams that used the ID numbers of deceased physicians. Sadly, it took years to uncover the fraud because the wait times to see the dead doctors and the real doctors were about the same.



School Cafeteria Costs
Rising costs for fuel, food and labor are forcing school cafeterias nationwide to cut costs. Luckily, most lunch ladies have been using the same hair net since 1972.



Kids and Foreclosures
A new study shows that the rising number of foreclosures is having a big effect on children. Mostly because they worry about having a place to play their XBox.