Monday, July 14, 2008

InBev Buys Bud
InBev has bought Anheuser-Busch for $52 billion. Thousands of Anheuser-Busch workers will be laid off to pay for the deal, and at least three of the Clydesdales are being sold for glue.

iPhone Sales Surge
Apple sold one million of its new 3G iPhones over the weekend. So that's one million Americans who will be using those phones to call their parents and beg for gas money.

Sudanese President Charged
Europe's International Criminal Court prosecutor has charged Sudan's president with genocide in Darfur. This is the same prosecutor who will inevitably charge the U.S. with war crimes for forcefully removing Sudan's president six months from now.

Fannie and Freddie Failing
Faltering U.S. mortgage backers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are being reorganized and merged by the government. The new company will be called "Mae Default."

IndyMac Fails
Critics say IndyMac Bank failed because it gave mortgage loans to too many risky customers. IndyMac denies that and insists that it made sure that each and every one of its borrowers had a pulse.


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