BREAKING NEWS!!!

Hillary Clinton will reportedly announce tonight that she realizes she cannot catch up with Barack Obama in the race for delegates. Later, she will announce that she realizes that Bill may not have been faithful to her once or twice.

Clinton will stop short of officially announcing she's dropping out of the race, because it'd be a shame to have to stop campaigning AND lying at the same time.

Hillary has reportedly told her Senate colleagues that's she's "open" to being Barack Obama's running mate. But Bill Clinton is quietly reminding everyone that Hillary hasn't been open to anyone in 25 years.