New Baby
Actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton have had a baby girl. The couple was reportedly disappointed the child didn't look demonic or spooky in any way.


Lieberman Backs McCain
Senator Joe Lieberman is endorsing John McCain for president. It's a brilliant move because making this decision now will give Lieberman more exposure in a few weeks when McCain drops out of the race.


Abdullah the Merciful
Saudi King Abdullah has pardoned a rape victim who was set to receive 200 lashes and six months in prison. And in a related story, the seven men who raped her have all been given jobs setting oil prices.



Trade Deficit Shrinks
The U.S. trade deficit declined during the third quarter to the lowest level in two years. A few more lead paint recalls and our economy could really start turning a corner!




Paulson to the Rescue?
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson will visit homeowners threatened by the mortgage mess in Orlando, Florida today. After having to listen to Paulson talk for about 10 minutes, those homeowners will realize there are many worse things in life than foreclosure.



Palestinian Request
Palestinian leaders are asking the European Union for $5.6 billion over the next three years. It'll be a tough sell, since the Palestinians didn't kill as many Jews as the E.U. asked for over the last three years.