Gridlock Alert
As we hit the height of the holiday shopping season, New York City officials have issued a blanket traffic gridlock alert for Manhattan. The only way to get around town easily is to walk, take the subway, or have an affair with Rudy Giuliani.



Waterboarding and Congress
New evidence shows that several members of Congress knew about the use of the controversial "waterboarding" torture tactic as far back as 2002. But none of the politicians objected when they saw the procedure was nowhere near as excruciating as listening to any of their speeches.



Airlines go to Court
U.S. airlines are going to federal court to try to block a new law that would punish them for stranding passengers on jets without adequate food, water or sanitation. Of course, the airlines do that every time they land in Detroit.



Burger Condom
A customer at a Burger King in Vermont says he was served a hamburger with a condom. It's all part of the chain's new "Get Happy Meal."

Burger Condom II
Burger King denies that any of its workers at a franchise in Vermont put a condom on a customer's hamburger. It's all part of the company's strict pro-life message.



GOP Poll
A new poll says the field of Republican presidential candidates is failing to "touch the voters hearts." But Rudy Giuliani has already touched all the other parts of their bodies.