Knievel Dead
Evel Knievel has died at age 69. His funeral will include eulogies, hymns, and his hearse jumping over 19 other hearses right into the cemetery.


Bush to the Rescue
President Bush is spearheading a program to help troubled subprime mortgage borrowers. He certainly knows how tough it is to pay a mortgage; to keep his current house he's had to give the oil companies two wars and $4-a-gallon gas.



Liz Gets a Pass
Striking Hollywood writers did not picket and allowed Elizabeth Taylor to return to the stage Saturday night... mostly because the writers are also interested in saving the whales.