Diller's Decision
Media mogul Barry Diller said today his Internet conglomerate will invest $100 million to expand in China. That's $10 million to build the system, and $90 million to help the Chinese government track down everyone who's going to use it.



Black Friday Crowds
Huge crowds jammed malls and big box stores early today. It's not clear if the lines were filled by shoppers or foreclosed Americans looking to get out of the cold.


Ship Sinking
More than 150 people have abandoned a sinking cruise liner that collided with an iceberg in Antarctic waters last night. Rescuers are trying to save the other 300 passengers, but it's proving extremely difficult to tear them away from the breakfast buffet.

Ship Sinking II
More than 150 people have abandoned a sinking cruise liner that collided with an iceberg in Antarctic waters last night.Of course, the passengers shouldn't have boarded a ship with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in the first place.

Not only is the ship sinking, but James Cameron and the producers of Titanic are already suing the cruise line for plagiarism.



Toilet Talks
Dozens of government delegates and U.N. representatives began two days of discussions today on improving bathroom facilities for the 2.6 billion people worldwide who lack access to proper restrooms... and the 300 million Americans who just want to stay away from Larry Craig.

Hmm... a summit about toilets. I think that meeting takes place at my daughter's pre-school every day.



Prostate Problems
A new study says screening tests may miss prostate cancer in obese patients... not because of any diagnostic errors, it's just because no one can really find a fat man's penis.