Walmart Earnings
Walmart reported an 8% gain in earnings today... most of the profits coming from foreclosed Americans now forced to live at Walmart.



Good News from Iraq
The number of roadside bombs in Iraq has fallen dramatically. Al Qaeda is blaming its reduced resources on its exposure to the subprime mortgage market.


Police Shooting
Police shot and killed an 18-year-old man outside his Brooklyn apartment Monday night after the gun he was reported to have been holding was really a hairbrush. But anyone who's seen people in Brooklyn knows that a lot more damage there is being done with hairbrushes than guns.



Rudy on Africa
Rudy Giuliani says that "more international trade" would help solve Africa's AIDS crisis... which is true, because with more poisonous Chinese toys coming into Africa, none of the kids will live long enough to get AIDS in the first place.



Mystery Gift
A completely anonymous $100 million donation has been made to a community organization in Erie, Pennsylvania. It's not that the donor was very humble, it's just that no one really wants to go to Erie to give the gift in person.

Since the gift was completely anonymous, I suppose the IRS wouldn't mind if I claim it as a deduction on my taxes this year, right?