Knicks Suit
A federal judge has found the Madison Square Garden guilty of harrassment, wrongful firing, and charging $6.75 for a 50 cent hot dog.


The New York Knicks and Madison Square Garden have been ordered to pay $11.6 million in damages to a disgruntled former employee... but enough about Truck Robinson.


The verdict is expected to change how a lot bosses behave at work... unfortunately it will change nothing about how the Knicks behave on the court.



North Korea Deal
A deal has been struck for the North Korean government to completely dismantle its nuclear weapons program in return for economic aid. So from this we learn that to continue being able to kill your own country's people, all you have to do is promise not to kill everyone else.



Bush Veto
President Bush has vetoed a plan to expand a children's health insurance program by $35 billion over five years. Bush said he did it because the bill was a dangerous step toward "federalizing" medicine... then he had to cut his speech short so he could get his free check-up and meds at Walter Reed Federal Hospital.



Toy Shortages
Inventory problems are expected to lead to real toy shortages this Christmas season. Luckily, most American kids are asking Santa for a gun.



Paul Money
Relatively unknown Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul's campaign raised a surprising $5.1 million dollars in the third quarter. Paul plans on winning the GOP primaries by legally changing his name to "none of the above."