O.J. in Solitary
O.J. Simpson is currently being held in isolation in the Las Vegas jail... mostly to keep him safe from Greta Van Susteren.



Men and Cleanliness
A new study shows that about 33% of men don't wash their hands after using the restroom. But 100% of men do lather up after using the restroom with Sen. Larry Craig.



Hillary's Plan
Hillary Clinton unveiled her $110 billion universal health care plan today, insisting that: ""Here in America people are dying because they couldn't get the care they needed when they were sick." Actually, in America people are dying because they couldn't get the care they needed after eating 11 Big Macs a week.


Several major corporations are backing Hillary Clinton's health care plan... mostly because they'll need someone else to care for all the Americans their poisoning with imported Chinese products.



France on Iran
France is warning that the West may need to go to war with Iran if it develops nuclear weapons, refuses democratic reforms, and continues to serve lamb without red wine.



Fast Food in China
McDonald's and KFC are both announcing major expansions in China. It's not clear if this is about making money, or if this is America's revenge for all those poisonous toys.