New Ipod
Steve Jobs has unveiled a new iPod that can hold up to 40,000 songs... or keep you amused until you finally get through aiport security, whichever comes first.



Craig Staying?
Disgraced Senator Larry Craig has hired some high-priced lawyers to help him reverse his decision to resign and fight his lewd behavior conviction... so for comedy writers, Larry Craig is now officially the gift that keeps on giving.



Gillmor Dead
Rep. Paul Gillmor of Ohio was found dead in his apartment in the nation's capital today. The 68-year-old Republican's family is in deep mourning, but are comforted by the fact that he wasn't found in an airport men's room.



Ancient Beehives
Archaeologists in Israel have discovered evidence of a 3,000-year-old beekeeping industry, including ancient honeycombs, beeswax and what they believe are the oldest intact beehives ever found. Local Arab groups are demanding the beehives be turned over to them... so they can destroy them.



No Strike
A threatened strike by New York City cabbies who oppose being forced to use GPS navigation devices fizzled today. The only thing that would really cause a noticeable taxi strike is forcing the cabbies to take a shower.