Shark Dies
A dead shark washed up this Labor Day weekend on Rockaway Beach in Queens, New York. Experts believe the shark tried to eat some of the local swimmers, but choked to death on all the gold chains and cologne.



Bush in Iraq
President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq Monday, saying fewer U.S. forces may be able to maintain security at the current level.... especially since that current level is "no security."



New Study
Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks... except for the guys who prefer someone who tenderly taps their foot in the men's bathroom.



New Law
18-wheeler trucks from Mexico will soon be allowed to drive into the United States... or as the illegal immigrants like to call them: "mobile homes."



Report on Iraq
Iraq's prime minister says he expects his government to get favorable marks when Congress makes it's official report next week... but he doesn't want to say what he had to do in the men's room to get those good marks.