Pavarotti Dead
Famed tenor Luciano Pavarotti has died. The expected pasta surplus is depressing food prices all across Europe.



Fossett Searched
The search for famed billionaire adventurer Steve Fossett has been expanded to 10,000 square miles. More people would be willing to help look for Fossett if they could find out whether or not he was carrying his wallet.



U.S. Population Growth
Experts say there will be more than 105 million more people living in the U.S. by 2060. Those experts also believe that each and every one of them will have their own personal Starbuck's.



Jersey Politician Sting
Two mayors and two state legislators are among 11 public officials arrested in New Jersey today as part of a bribery and corruption investigation. Most of the officials were given bribes by local residents desperate to get out of New Jersey.



Buffett Robbery Foiled
A would-be robber was chased off of Warren Buffett's property last night. Of course, Buffett is the #1 stockholder in that security company and its shares are up 453% in today's trading.



Toyota Exec Hired Away
Chrysler has hired away a top executive from Toyota to help improve sales. Of course, it would have been cheaper just to buy a bunch or Toyota logos and slap them on the front fenders of every new Chrysler.