Fed Fire
Federal Reserve president Janet Yellen is under fire for saying that the Fed is not meant to bail out investors... actually it's meant to bail out politicians.



Petraeus Blasted
Dozens of U.S. Senators are bashing General Patreus' Iraq war plans as "fundamentally flawed"... and they can say that with authority based on their many years of experience playing "Risk" and "Stratego."



City Fast Food Law Nixed
A judge has struck down a New York City rule requiring fast-food restaurants to post calorie content on menus, saying it conflicts with federal law, and nobody knows how many calories are in a cockroach anyway.



Day of Conception
Because of a population crisis, the central Russian region of Ulyanovsk is declaring "September 12th a special day of conception," and offering prizes for couples that get pregnant. In America we have a similar tradition, it's called "Spring Break."


Gray Whale Comeback?
Scientists are now questioning reports of the Gray Whale's comeback from near-extinction... mostly because the whales are using the same choreographer as Britney Spears.