Scene Deleted
An Iranian Muslim group has successfully pressured Hollywood producers to delete an honor killing scene from an upcoming movie. The Iranians didn't object to the idea of killing a defenseless woman, they just didn't think it was brutal enough.



Credit Crunch
As the credit crisis continues to gut the stock market, more banks are making it harder to get a loan. Now to get a mortgage, you must either have collateral, a big salary, or be Hillary Clinton.



DHS Takes Over
The Department of Homeland Security is replacing the individual airlines and taking over checking passenger info watch lists. This means most flights will go from being delayed by two hours and will now be delayed by two days.



Hurricane Forecast Downgraded
Government forecasters are downgrading their predictions for Atlantic Ocean hurricanes for the late summer and early fall. Meteorologists say tighter credit is making it harder for the storms to buy more winds and heavy rain.


Rush Hour Meltdown
Officials are blaming overwhelmed pumps and the city’s sewers for crippling the subway system during Wednesday's rush hour rain storms. But the city's rats say they're doing the best they can!



Gaza Economy
The U.N. is warning that Gaza is facing an economic meltdown. It's getting so bad, some Palestinian terrorists are thinking about getting a real job.