Done Deal
Rupert Murdoch has finally closed the deal to buy Wall Street Journal parent Dow Jones. It's a move that would infuriate liberals... if any of them actually read the Wall Street Journal.


Baseball Milestones
It could be a big night for baseball as Tom Glavine goes for his 300th win, Barry Bonds tries to tie Hank Aaron for the home run crown, and Alex Rodriguez goes for homer number 500... it all depends on whether they're all comfortable sharing a steroid needle.



Ethics Bill
A new bill which bans members of Congress from accepting most types of gifts and trips from lobbyists is expected to easily pass this week... which means most members of Congress are planning to retire by the end of this year.

Experts say the new bill will remove the veil of secrecy that covers the day-to-day workings of the U.S. Congress... but not as much as when that Madame released her client list.


Sex Survey
Scholars at the University of Texas have catalogued 37 different reasons why people have sex. They include love, infatuation, and because it gets damn cold in Minnesota.


Election Issues
A new Gallup Poll says that running against the war in Iraq is "not exactly a winning issue" for the Democrats. The only winning issue for the Democrats is running against the Republicans.


Dodger-Yankee Deal
The Los Angeles Dodgers have sent talented infielder Wilson Betemit to the New York Yankees. In return, L.A. gets shaky relief pitcher Scott Proctor and a year's supply of prozac.