Senate All-Nighter
The U.S. Senate will debate several Iraq war bills tonight in an all-night session. It's not clear if the Senators are trying to stand up to president Bush, or if they just want to prove to their wives that they're not using an escort service.


Catholic Prayer Worries
Some Jewish leaders are worried about Pope Benedict's reintroduction of the Latin Mass, which includes a once-a-year prayer for God to "lift the veil from the eyes of the Jews." But most Jews are worried about the daily Muslim prayer that asks Allah to "lift the veil from the eyes of the Jews so we can blow their heads off."


Al Qaeda Report
A top government intelligence report says that al Qaeda is desperately trying to sneak into the United States. But it's not clear if they want to attack us, or just get some of those good dishwashing jobs at Denny's.


TB Surgery
So-called "TB Traveller" Andrew Speaker underwent surgery for his tuberculosis in Atlanta today. Speaker wanted to get the surgery done before Michael Moore tried to take him to Cuba.


Iraqi Fear
Hundreds of Iraqis say they're extremely worried about a possible American withdrawal... especially since most of them just spent their life savings on McDonald's and Starbuck's franchises.



American Indians in NYC
A small group of gay American Indians is trying to find a home in Manhattan. If they think they're persecuted now, wait until they find they can't even get a studio apartment for less than $2,500 a month.

American Indians in NYC II
A small group of gay American Indians is trying to find a home in Manhattan. Being members of such a marginalized minority does make it hard to find a home, but none of them had any trouble getting into Harvard.

Top 5 Gay American Indians

5) "Dances with Drag Queens"

4) "Geronihomo"

3) "Crazy Clothes Horse"

2) "Victor/Victorio"

1) "Lone Flamingo"



Sniper at Large
A former army sniper is still at large after allegedly shooting his wife to death while she performed at a show. Millions of Americans are wondering why he killed his own wife, why he did it in such a public place, and why couldn't he have been married to Celine Dion?