Hot Dog Winner
American Joey Chestnut has won the Nathan's Fourth of July hot dog eating contest with a new world record 66 dogs eaten in 12 minutes. The event is always a great promotion for Nathan's, because nothing makes you want to eat hot dogs more than watching a guy shove five and half dozen of them down his throat.


Gore Arrested
Al Gore's son, Al Gore III, was arrested early this morning for driving his Toyota Prius 100 MPH and having marijuana and prescription drugs in his possession. The news is shocking millions of Americans who didn't think it was possible to drive a Prius faster than 45 MPH.

Gore Arrested II
Al Gore's son, Al Gore III, was arrested early this morning for driving his Toyota Prius 100 MPH and having marijuana and prescription drugs in his possession. The "III" after his name now officially stands for three DUI's.

Gore Arrested II
Al Gore's son, Al Gore III, was arrested early this morning for driving his Toyota Prius 100 MPH and having marijuana and prescription drugs in his possession. The younger Gore explained he needs the drugs to have any hope of understanding what the Hell his father is talking about.



Johnston Released
Palestinian kidnappers have finally released BBC reporter Alan Johnston after 114 days. They decided to let him go when they realized there really aren't that many reporters who believe their bullcrap.


Chrysler in China
Chrysler has announced it will start selling cars made in China by 2010. The vehicles will have 25 different standard and optional features that can poison you.


Hilton Bought
The Blackstone investment group has bought Hilton Hotelts for $26 billion. That's $20 billion for the hotels and $6 billion for the right to have Paris killed.