Top 10 Medical Insurance Form Questions at Dr. Mohammed Mohammed's Office

10. Blood Type, please circle one: A, B, O, Jewish.

9. Please state the reason for your injury/illness: a. car accident, b. slip/fall, c. failed suicide bombing.

8. Have you had any exposure to: a. asbestos b. toxic materials c. ramshackle Iranian nuclear labs.

7. Have you ever had: a. cancer b. bronchitis c. Infidel neighbor.

6. To what do you attribute your illness/pain: a. hereditary problems b. alcohol/drug abuse c. Israel.

5. Do you work: a. overnight shifts, b. construction, c. the baggage hold at Heathrow Airport.

4. Have you ever made a Workers’ Compensation claim, and if so, do you feel comfortable filling out applications for false passports and/or visas?

3. With what do you intend to make your payments: a. cash b. credit c. 72 virgins.

2. Do you have a history of: a. blackouts b. seizures c. Zionism.

1. If injured whom shall we contact: a. spouse b. child c. al Jazeera.