Budget Director Going
White House budget director Rob Portman is resigning. Portman says he wants to spend more time with his family, where he won't be so attacked for doing things like forgetting how to add.



Palestinian Flight
Hundreds of terrified Gazans fleeing Hamas rule are trapped at a border crossing with Israel, hoping for permission to pass through Israeli territory to sanctuary in the West Bank, where they hope to be able to kill Jews in peace.

Help for Abbas
President Bush and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert have vowed to help Mahmoud Abbas's new government. The U.S. will help Abbas by sending him money, and the Israelis will help Abbas by pretending he has more than 3 weeks to live.


Driving with God
The Vatican has issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for drivers, telling motorists to avoid driving recklessly. As a result, everyone in Italy is now taking the train.

Driving with God II
The Vatican has issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for drivers, telling motorists to avoid driving recklessly. This initiative is expected to meet with about as much success as the New York Archdiocese's edict against giving people the finger while driving on the Cross Bronx Expressway.


Anna Nicole Smith Judge Quits
The Florida judge noted for his unorthodox oversight of the Anna Nicole Smith case says he is retiring at the end of July. Ever since Paris Hilton went to jail, he's been too broken up to work.



Google's 100 MPG Car
Google has announced it's investing in a car that can get 100 miles per gallon. The oil companies are responding by preparing to raise gas prices to $300 a gallon.