Gun Control Bill
The House of Representatives has just passed a new notification bill aimed at keeping criminals and those judged to be "mentally defective" from possessing firearms. The measure passed only after each member of Congress was assured they would be excluded from the new law.


Rather Critique
Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather is criticizing the network for making a big mistake by "tarting up" its newscast with Katie Couric. Rather insists the only good way to "tart up" a newscast is with forged documents.


Spielberg Picks Hillary
Steven Spielberg has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. This from the same man who thinks Tom Cruise has his head on straight.



Mosque Bombing
Al qaeda bombers have destroyed the Shia Al-Askariya Mosque for the second time in a year... and they're gonna keep destroying it until Ty and the rest of the crew from "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" come to Iraq and fix it!


American Muslim groups like CAIR say they are angry and are denouncing the Al-Askariya Mosque bombing today... especially since they can't blame it on Israel.


Miers Called
Former White House counsel and rejected Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers has been subpoenaed by Congress to testify in the fired U.S. attorneys case. It's proof once again that that Democrats are the only ones who think Harriet Miers knows anything about anything.



President Peres
Shimon Peres was elected Israel's ninth president Wednesday. The Israeli presidency is actually only a ceremonial position, and Peres' nine decades of political irrelevance made him a shoo-in for the job.


Shark Death
Another whale shark has died at the Georgia Aquarium. Officials say that the shark had stopped eating and been showing erratic and obsessive behavior ever since he watched the final episode of the Sopranos Sunday night.


Chinese Dinosaur
Scientists have discovered a giant bird-like dinosaur fossil in China. Experts aren't sure if the animal actually lived in the region, or if it was a cheap pirated version of dinosaur actually made in Hollywood.