Palestinian Aid
Now that Mahmoud Abbas has expelled Hamas from his government, the U.S. and EU have resumed sending aid to the Palestinians. This means Palestinian women can have enough food to feed their children before sending them off to suicide bombing school.


White House Emails
Democrats in Congress are extremely mad over the deleted White House emails connected to the U.S. Attorney firing scandal. The Democrats are interested in what every email said, especially the ones that claimed to have non-prescription formulas for penis enlargement.


Rushdie "Affront"
Radical Muslims have condemned Britain's award of a knighthood to author Salman Rushdie as an affront to Muslim sentiments. Not because Rushdie wrote the controversial "Satanic Verses," but because Rushdie can actually write.


Wendy's for Sale
Hamburger chain Wendy's International says it is exploring the possible sale of the company. Interested buyers include Burger King, McDonald's, and American Association of Cardiologists.


Semel Out at Yahoo!
The good news is Terry Semel has been replaced as Yahoo! CEO by co-founder Jerry Yang. The bad news is the board did all of its research on Yang by googling his name.