Gas Explosions
A series of gas explosions in Dallas has left three people injured. But since this is Texas, rescue crews are just working to save the gas.


Chrysler Deal Delayed
Chrysler is postponing its $12 billion corporate bond deal. Like most other things produced by Chrysler, it's currently in the shop.



Veteran Care
The U.S. Senate has approved several medical care improvements for veterans. Congress is finally recognizing that former soldiers deserve better attention, mostly because a lot of them are still armed.



Fred's Top Aide Quits
The chief of staff for Fred Thompson's still unofficial presidential campaign has resigned. He decided to take the much more challenging and lucrative job as Lindsay Lohan's image consultant.



Muslim Terror Poll
A new survey shows that support for terrorism in the Muslim world is falling... well, that's what the survey was showing before Muslim terrorists killed the pollsters.



Churchill Fired
The University of Colorado has fired Professor Ward Churchill, who once compared 9/11 victims to Nazis. But Churchill has been offered another job at the school, as a tackling dummy for the football team.



Bruno Outraged
Upon hearing the news that Governor Eliot Spitzer's aides spied on him, New York Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno is reacting with outrage... mostly because he didn't think of doing it first.