Vick Case Slammed
The president of the Atlanta chapter of the NAACP is criticizing the dog fighting prosecution of Michael Vick, saying the government is "piling on." I wonder if he would be saying that if the dogs had been black.


Paris Disinherited
Paris Hilton's grandfather is reportedly revoking her $60 million inheritance. Looks like she's going to have to make a lot more "accidental" sex tapes.

Paris Disinherited II
Paris Hilton's grandfather is reportedly revoking her $60 million inheritance. The next season of "The Simple Life" will focus on Paris' attempts to learn how to file for welfare.


Roberts Fall
Chief Justice John Roberts has been taken to a hospital after falling at his summer home. Roberts is said to be in good condition and is reportedly looking into reversing all his decisions that limited the jury awards on accident lawsuits.



Gore Pleads
Al Gore III has pleaded guilty to drug possession charges stemming from his arrest earlier in July. Gore admits that taking the drugs was the only way he could get through watching those Live Earth concerts.



Car Heat Sensors
Some car companies are selling special sensors that can keep kids from being left alone in dangerously hot cars. The sensors measure the car's temperature, the amount of air in the car, and whether or not the kids' parents are total idiots.



Bush-Brown Meeting
During their first meeting today, President Bush and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown discussed the U.K's plans to leave Iraq. Mr, Bush made it clear that if Britain leaves early, it will forfeit its security deposit.


More Hurricanes
A new study shows that the number of hurricanes has doubled in the last 100 years. The increase is being attributed to global warming, jet stream shifts, and the secret "ratings-making weather machine" CNN activates every September.