NYC Rush Hour from Hell
After a small rain storm totally halted this morning's rush hour in New York, the city is no longer preparing for a possible hurricane and is now just working on surviving "partly cloudy."


Home Run Record
Barry Bonds has broken Major League Baseball's home run record. He can now look forward to millions of dollars worth of pharmaceutical and medical supply company endorsements.

Barry Bonds thanked his parents, wife, kids, and even Willie Mays after he hit the record-breaking homer. Meanwhile his pharmacist says: "Who am I, chopped liver?!?"


Picassos Found
French police have recovered two Picassos worth $66 million from thieves who were expected to try to sell the masterpieces... except for one thief identified as Keith Richards, who intended to smoke them.


Shuttle Astronauts Ready
Shuttle Endeavor's seven crew members are all suited up and ready... either for a launch or a long-term stalking of each other's boyfriends and girlfriends, whichever comes first.

Shuttle Drinking
NASA says it hasn't found evidence of pre-flight drinking on shuttle flights... that's because the drinking doesn't start until AFTER blast off.


Dolphin Extinct
An international team of researchers says the long-threatened Yangtze River dolphin in China is probably extinct. The mamal was likely killed off by pollution, natural selection, and writing controversial stuff on the Internet.


Korea Summit
The leaders of North and South Korea have scheduled those countries' second-ever summit for later this month. They are expected to discuss security issues, economic trade, and their favorite M*A*S*H* re-runs.


Angry Moms
A new documentary film, Two Angry Moms, tells the story of two New York-area women who are fighting to keep sugary snacks out of public schools. The only immediate impact of their work is their kids have now been beaten up by their classmates for six years in a row.