Stocks Fall
The Dow Jones lost more than 400 points in trading Tuesday. It got so bad, Maria Bartiromo had to fly JetBlue.

Stocks Fall II
After stocks fell more than 400 points on Tuesday, the corporate world is snapping into action to lessen the damage... mostly by increasing the average CEO pay to $400 million per year.

Top 5 Reasons for the Dow Selloff

5) Traders still groggy from watching 4-hour Oscar show

4) All the major Wall Street brothels raised their fees

3) Major investors need to cash in stocks and start donating to all the presidential campaigns

2) Warren Buffett lost his wallet

1) Somebody finally realized that we don't actually make anything in this country anymore


Chinese Stock Slide
Stocks in China suffered a severe 9% drop earlier in the day... mostly based on rumors that Wal-Mart was planning on stocking an item that was actually made in America.


Shuttle Damage
A hailstorm damaged the space shuttle Atlantis' external fuel tank this week, and now NASA may have to postpone next month's launch. Repairing the damage actually won't take more than a few hours, the real delay will be waiting to hear from the insurance company.


Tobacco Tax Hikes
More than a dozen states are considering higher tobacco taxes this year to help pay the cost of health coverage for uninsured citizens. And some states are just forcing smokers to drive patients to and from all their doctor's appointments.


Hollywood Madam's Black Book
Police have finally unsealed the client list for so-called "Hollywood Super-Madam" Jody Gibson. The list of client services was actually found in three black books, titled "A-M, "N-Z," and "Charlie Sheen."



Self-Centered Collegians
A new report says today's college students suffer from too much self-esteem and are extremely narcissistic. That's bad news for parents, but good news for those guys selling personalized bongs.