State Farm Disses Mississippi

Executives at State Farm have decided they will no longer offer any policies in Mississippi... which is a shame, since that's the only company that still provides outhouse insurance.

Sadr in Iran

The U.S. military says Iraqi Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr is now in Iran... although it's not clear if he's hiding from the Americans or just early for the next Holocaust denial conference.

Daimler to Sell Chrysler?
Daimler is considering selling Chrysler after buying the company just nine years ago. The only trouble is, there isn't anyone as stupid now as Daimler was when it bought the company nine years ago.

Al Qaeda Directive
Al Qaeda is calling for attacks on U.S. oil companies all over the world... oh wait, sorry that call actually came from the Democrats in Congress.

Top 5 Worst Valentine's Day Gifts to Give Your Woman

5) Body care products... like deodorant

4) Surprise weekend getaway... to North Korea

3) Some old underwear your last girlfriend left in your apartment

2) Tuna fish-scented body oil

1) An actual heart

Anna Nicole Ruling

A Florida judge has ordered that Anna Nicole Smith's body cannot be buried. However, he did rule that it could be embalmed, frozen, or used as a flotation device.