Mount Hood Tragedy
For those who say the Mount Hood climbers took a reckless gamble and it's wrong that so much money and effort was spent to find them, I say one thing: remember that the climbers took one very important precaution to ensure the authorities would work tirelessly to save them... they made sure everyone knew they were white and not from New Orleans.







Johnson Recovery
Doctors say Senator Tim Johnson has shown significant improvement after brain surgery. On Sunday, Johnson responded to voices, opened his eyes, and attended 17 fundraising dinners.





Johnson Recovery II
Doctors say Senator Tim Johnson shows "no significant brain damage after his emergency surgery last week. However, for some reason he now thinks he's a utility infielder for the 1974 Milwaukee Brewers.








Miss USA in Trouble
Donald Trump is hinting that he may have to strip reigning Miss USA Tara Conner of her crown. Conner has reportedly being acting so vulgarly in New York City bars, that Trump feels she is more qualified to be his next wife.











Episcopal Break
The Episcopal Church is facing a major split within the movement. One group supports continuing liberal reforms like accepting gays in the clergy, while the other group has been too drunk to notice the reforms in the first place.








Lilly Cover Up
Internal documents show that the drug maker Eli Lilly has engaged in a decade-long effort to play down the health risks of Zyprexa, its best-selling medication for schizophrenia. In his defense, the company's CEO is blaming the covering up one of his "evil" personalities.