Gay Rabbis
The Conservative branch of Judaism voted this week to accept gay rabbis for the first time. Previously, the only job open to gay conservative Jews was chairman of the Republican party.









Islamic Law
Islamic court officials in Somalia say that residents who do not pray five times a day will be beheaded. Well, at least they're giving them a choice.







Nice Find
10 years after a Brigham Young University maintenance worker found $10,000 in a pipe on campus, police are letting him keep the money. That's too bad; 10 years ago $10,000 was actually worth something.








Apocalytpo Worries
Producers of the new Mel Gibson movie "Apocalypto" are concerned the film's profits will be affected by the director's anti-Semitic comments, the film's intense gore, and the fact that all the dialogue in the movie is in the Yucatec language. But experts scoff at those worries because movie fans love violence, they'll learn to live with subtitles, and everybody hates the Jews.








Illegal Immigrant Laws
The town of Altoona, Pennsylvania has approved a measure to punish landlords who rent to illegal immigrants and businesses who employ them. And illegal immigrants in Altoona will be punished by having to live in Altoona.






Gun Rule
Local officials in Cherry Tree, Pennsylvania are considering a law that would ask residents to own a gun. It's not clear if the purpose of the law is to cut costs for law enforcement or just to help reduce overcrowding.







K-Fed's Pledge
Kevin Federline says his children are his top priority... as long as they're willing to hold his drinks while he scams porn stars at parties.








Rosie to Bolt
Rosie O'Donnell is already considering leaving "The View" because she's tired of daily "dramas" with her co-hosts. Well, now she knows what it's like to be one of the show's viewers.