Clooney Speaks Out
George Clooney is now confirming that he spent a long night of heavy drinking with Danny DeVito last week. But Clooney can't confirm that the drinking directly resulted in DeVito's bizarre appearance on "The View"... or the fact that the couple is now legally married in Massachusetts.








TV Ads Rapped
The American Academy of Pediatrics says TV commercials spur kids to overeat... but they eventually lose their appetite once they watch about five minutes of "The View."








Civil War Strategy
President Bush met at the White House today with the top Shiite leader in Iraq, and next month the top Sunni leader comes to Washington. The administration is hoping to keep inviting the two men to the White House so they're too busy travelling to kill each other.

Civil War Strategy II
President Bush met at the White House today with the top Shiite leader in Iraq, and next month the top Sunni leader comes to Washington. By the time those guys finish with all the traveling, they'll be too angry at the airlines to fight a civil war.







Annan's Assessment
Kofi Annan says the situation in Iraq is "worse than a civil war." That's because people are dying, and so far his sons haven't found a way to make money from it.








Straight-Talking Muslim
Heba Koth, a Muslim, is being called the Dr. Ruth of the Islamic world because of her hit talk show "Big Talk," which is a frank and detailed weekly show about sex. Koth has about three days to live.






Lindsay's in A.A.
Lindsay Lohan's publicist says the 20 year-old star has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Not to stop drinking, but just to be around other incoherent people.