Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Gun in School
A 12-year-old Long Island boy who was caught bringing his dad's 9mm handgun to school last week now realizes just what a terrible mistake that was... most of his classmates had much bigger guns.

Baghdad Attack
Insurgents in Baghdad killed dozens of unemployed Iraqis today who were lured to their deaths by a job offer... kind of like what happens every day to thousands of Americans who agree to work at Wal-Mart with no health insurance.

Blind Hunting
Texas is considering a law allowing blind people to hunt. I guess they're just trying to make Dick Cheney feel welcome.

Bush Meeting
On Tuesday President Bush met in the Oval Office with Iraq's Sunni vice president, Tariq al-Hashemi. The question is: Are all these Iraqi politicians coming to the White House lately to discuss policy, or just to keep themselves out of the line of fire for a few days?

Panhandler Award
New York City has agreed to pay panhandler Eddie Wise $100,000 after a judge ruled police wrongly arrested him more than a dozen times. Coming up with the money shouldn't be a problem for the city, but Wise is asking for that $100,000 in quarters.

Pastor Resigns
Reverend Paul Barnes has resigned as pastor of a Denver mega-church, after confessing to having sex with men and saying that he often "cried himself to sleep," begging God to end his attraction to men. Wow, he's just like Hillary Clinton!

Amish Labor Laws
Amish families in western New York have been told by the state that they must stop employing their teenage children in construction work. They've responded by desperately looking for some Amish Mexicans.


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