North Korea Tests
Air samples gathered in North Korea confirm that North Korea conducted an underground nuclear explosion. Wait a minute... you're telling me they have air in North Korea?

China Cautions
China is concerned about new sanctions calling for the searches of all cargo ships going from North Korea... because that's where China sends all of its unwanted human body parts.

Top 5 Signs U.N. Sanctions are Already Hurting North Korea

5) Most North Koreans now actually willing to eat those Atkins-friendly snacks

4) Kim Jong Il has had to take a second job moonlighting as Mongolia's dictator

3) The only movie playing in North Korean theaters is Lady in the Water

2) Everyone in the country is now willing to be adopted by Madonna

1) Local scientists now busy constructing something more deadly than a nuclear bomb; a Big Mac

U.S. Population
Census officials predict that the U.S. population will hit 300 million this week. That's one American for every illegal alien.

Top Movie
The number one movie at the box office this weekend was The Grudge 2. The film is about how the Bush Administration continues to blame everything on Bill Clinton.

Stewart Convicted
Attorney Lynne Stewart was sentenced Monday to nearly 2½ years in prison for helping an imprisoned terrorist. Of course in a case dealing with a lawyer and a member of al Qaeda, it was hard to tell which one was the terrorist.